Thursday, Nov. 06, 2003 - 4:33 a.m.
Cost of the War in Iraq
WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.
Wild and Deadly
Mmm, wow, I am nearly not as stressed. nearly not. What does that mean?? mmm? It means that my shoulders only creep up to my ears (that I notice) only ever 15 minutes instead of every three. That the shaky feeling in my spine between my shoulderblades up to my occiput is not so noticable (oh how I know and recognize that feeling from years ago when I worked at jobs that sucked me dry and got me up too too early). My hands feel not so shaky, and I move around less in my chair, trying to get rid of the aches in my hips and lower back.
It means that I am thinking a little slower, and don't cringe at the idea of the phone ringing. Or maybe I do! Demanding demanding, that telephone.
I am putting in this entry some samples of my US work... all nasty things in nature! First that was an electric eel... apparently you need rubber gloves to handle them. The second is a bald eagle stealing from a hard-working osprey. Yes, the symbol of the United States is a nasty thief who picks on smaller birds!
A------ said that the illustrations were spectacular. The colors lend themselves wonderfully to the story and Bear is totally adorable in every scene. Every illustration is undeniably perfectly rendered. Your talent is amazing!
Well, that is not a bad way to start a day. Yay! "undeniably perfectly rendered"! yay! :) How can the perfectionist in me quibble with that?? yay! yay again! :)
So, anyhewz, now you know what I'm working on madly... coloring in greytones on 55 drawings like that... And so I got to the bar tonight late (well 10:20 pm) and was happy to find that the show had JUST started. What a great show. We were treated to two fashion segments by different designers (I am totally MORE into dark gothic fetish clothes than modern raver fetish clothes), a kick-ass spoken word piece where the girl starts off by talking about her broken heart, and ends by saying that her ex taught her what LOVE IS NOT, and now she has become an activist for GREAT SEX and LOVE... mmm, fun... very spunky (I'm not quite there yet). There was an absolutely hysterically funny piece where a woman spoofed reading her broken heart poetry (a brilliant mix of sappy, horrid flowery metaphors and "fuck you gary!!") while she sobbed and sappy music played in the background. A spicy dance number to "Lollipop lollipop", a play piercing with peacock feathers on the needles (gorgeous.. and the girl was dressed sort of like a flapper), and my friend Chatalie's classic "jerking off my iron dick with a metal grinder, finishing with a fire explosion orgasm" which brought down the house. A solid hour and a half of show. Oh, yeah! and me! heehee! That went very well too, and everyone loved my rubber corset. I got compliments on the excellent change in demeanor from slave to domme. yay again.
Aak, 6:30 am yes, somehow it has become 6:30 am again, so plans to go to bed at 5am are cancelled. Partly working on the html on this page, and partly I got a phone call from Tom of Vermont (who thankfully has refrained from reading my diary ... he says... in the past couple days)... fun to chat with, but he says I misrepresent things in my diary so is problematic to read anyways. I asked "misrepresent how?" and he said "you said I was attracted to you but you didnt mention you were attracted to me". I guess that is true. He is rather cute and charming and we have a lot in common. However I guess I write "attracted to" someone when I feel oooooh I want to get in their pants, or I get all blushy and goofy around them. Whereas I am so self-protective that I can go "hmm, goodlooking and enjoyable to talk to/spend time with". Really, if I am attracted in the manner of saying "I AM ATTRACTED", I will probably be rubbing up against someone that very night. yes. I am not a slow mover. So there, I have set the balance at zero... "we found each other attractive". But I made it clear on the phone tonight (despite his "are you going to argue with God?" line)... haha, the question is do I, at 6am, feel like arguing whether there is a god to argue with to start with??... I made it clear that right now I am going to stick with my path of dealing with my sadness and pain, my creative outpourings and projects that are left over with ob before I embark on anything new. And that means, getting over it, and THEN spending some time single and liking my life alone, and THEN being ready to start something new. I am NOT going to override my self-protectiveness this time like I have done before. I will not end up in bed with someone crying that it is not someone else. Or being there with someone, moving forward physically, and moving away internally. urk. So there. End of Tom of Vermont entry bit.
As for ob, I am turning into ob. Not eating properly, drinking Corona, smoking the hookah, whitening my teeth (someone complimented me on them the other day... said they were much whiter and asked what I use), and having nothing proper in the house to eat... tonight I had some pasta cuz there was no peanut butter, no munchies (I ate the last lost package of instant peaches and cream oatmeal). Deary me.
AAGH!! I just had a fleeting thought that maybe my horoscope from Tuesday was two and a half days late, and this was my opportunity I turn down... this guy from Vermont. Oh well, tough shit. I am not ready. And not another American, let alone a straight boy American. All that border shit. And I can't share my dyke stuff with a boy. I want a boi. not a boy. Oh dear, that brings tears to my eyes again. I am just not over this at all. byebye must go now. til tomorrow... zzzzzzz
Here is my horoscope for Wednesday, November 5: Changes in your surroundings influence the person that you are. There are ways to enjoy a situation that might drive others crazy. Keep company with the friends that best match your temperament.
Changes in your surroundings influence the person that you are. There are ways to enjoy a situation that might drive others crazy. Keep company with the friends that best match your temperament.
0 People have left cute, callous or caring comments on the wench's wordiness!!
ps, you'll need to email me for a username and password
Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
*inspired by Chaosdaily