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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2003 - 8:54 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

No babies in the Dark

8:45 pmSarah MacLaughlin is on the radio. She has been taking time off cuz her mother had cancer and died. And she has had a baby daughter since as well.

Why does there have to be the wonderful good stuff with the bad stuff I can identify with. I want to feel caring towards her for her mother's death. And then when the next sentence is "she gave birth to her wonderful baby daughter"... I want to kick her and go you fucking lucky bitch. My mom was sick, I have had deaths. I have had breakups. Why dont i get a wonderful baby daughter? hmm. It just cuts my compassion, when of course it shouldnt.

That's all i had to say. It is dark out. I have not started working yet. I hate that the time has changed. My light next to my computer is shorted out too, so i am typing only by computer glow. dark.

Later...

6:52 amI am an idiot. Yes an idiot. Once again I wrote a whole new entry in here that took me an hour, and didnt save, and when I went to get some URL's to put as links to book titles I mentioned, my computer crashed. None of the entry was saved obviously. Such a pain in the whatever. It is now nearly 7am and I am going to sleep. Sorry, it was an interesting entry with a photo scan of my arm, a book review, quote and all. Tuff shit. Read my stupid quizilla results from earlier tonight. I am an idiot. zzz me.12:43am... It totally CANNOT be, but IS that actual time. agh. Give me a P... P!! give me an R... R!! give me a O...O!!!..... etc etc and what have ya got? PROCRASTINATION!!!

Gay Bear
Gay Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Haha! at least that one is abnoxiously cutesy... I mean really, I was hoping for slash and burn care bear or something... not pretty purple with a triangle. But now I have done "what Beautiful Woman are you?" and wow , lovely results...agh!:

So goth you're dead!
You are every goth-kids dream!

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

So do you think it's cuz for body mods I wrote "just the scars"? Or cuz i wrote "raven" for which animal I would like as a pet... heck, I already have a dog and two cats and they are cute and fluffy and loveydovey... a raven is smart and as a bird goes wouldnt need to be in a cage. Haha... every goth-kids dream! No wonder I was attractive to ob... the little punk goth thingie! I was dark AND had sunshine in my yellow bedroom and homebaked bread in the kitchen. The dark and the homey mommy love. And before that I had a farm boy/girl, but not for long and before that i had ANOTHER GOTH KID!! yes, tattoo on the face, thought he was immortal, hitchhiked in the snow at night, drew elf-demons and nick was Crow. haha! Quizilla strikes again! So, any lost goth kids out there want a mommy? You can send me an email, and we can talk if you are good in bed. Love for books is a plus too.

OOH OOOH I looked at all the possible results and I want the Temptress image not the goth dream one! yes yes! anyhowz do the test... fun results.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

 

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