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Music Today: Some strange Christmas compilation that has one hit per 7 songs.

Quote of the Day

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2003 - 12:40 a.m.

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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Behooving and Friendly Exes

"You Little Shit", copyright 2003 Wench77
Hello again! This is a peppy new diaryland diary entry for today, Tuesday, December 23rd. Yes I KNOW that silly diaryland thingie says Dec24 but that is because that was programmed by silly people who go to bed before midnight, so anything after midnight isn't Tuesday night to them, it is another day dawning. Here in Wenchland it is still Tuesday night for another 5 hours.

So, I did get at least 5 pages of new comics done in the past two days on my "How to Screw Someone Around" story, or rather "helpful hints", brought to you by "You Little Shit!". Interestingly enough most of the people who have screwed me around are still or again friendly with me.

"The Little Criminal", copyright 2003 Wench77
I just got an email from the Little Criminal who did the lying about safe sex with me, when I was trying to get pregnant, which is actually what my comic is about right now. I hate to say that he is probably recognizable in the comic to people who know us. Oh well. I doubt he will be upset. Anyways, I emailed him my Christmas card, and got a merry whatever back which was nice. I dunno, maybe the little shit has learned something. (oops sorry Little Shit... I meant "Little Criminal")... he actually has been with the same girl since I threw him out, AND he actually financially supported her and her kid last year. A big step up from little sofa surfer "but I'm a street kid, I just eat and sleep at your house" which he was. I guess everyone eventually grows up (even my father heehee!)

Also, I will be writing a story about my most shamefaced time, when I was drunk and totally fucked around my then girlfriend/becoming-ex with someone else at a party for me. God I didn't want to see ANYONE from that party the next day. Maybe I will call the story something like "Attack of the Massive Ego" or somesuch. Amazing how, when you feel rejected or have problems in one relationship, when someone else you have the hots for or admire notices you, suddenly your ego (which was rather deflated) turns into SUPER HELIUM-INFLATED EGO!! Yeah, your ex didnt understand you. Didnt see you for how desirable and amaziing you REALLY are... you'll show them that someone BETTER wants you. urk.

Oh the shame! And the horrid mean unfeeling things one can do in that state. Sort of an adrenaline filled drunkenness of infallibility and untouchability. gll.

Interestingly enough the person I was shamefacedly involved in for that fiasco was Disappearing Boy, who painted my kitchen, and who has again reappeared (his once every two or five year reappearance)... and he's back in town. He called today and is going to come over to share my Christmas Eve dinner with me, which is nice.

We share a completely wacky verbal sense of humour. In fact, like ob, one of the things that endeared me to him is that he actually admired my wit. While everyone else says "t'es pas drole", which means "you're not funny". Sort of with a serious annoyed tone of voice which someone would use towards a 6yr old putting his sandwich on his head in a restaurant. sigh. But Disappearing Boy thinks I am funny, and I think he's funny, so we are exponentially goofy together. And it will be fun to have him for dinner, since I will change nothing from what I wouldve made for myself anyways: Curried Chicken Rice Casserole, baked parsnips with butter and nutmeg, jello with mandarin oranges. mmm. yummy. That is our traditional Christmas eve dinner! I still plan to have enough leftovers to pig out on Curried Chicken all day the 25th! :)

The cool thing about exes that have fucked you over is that you have already been as bitchy and angry and blaming to them as it is possible to be. Everything after that is uphill. You have no illusions, no secrets you need to hide. You are totally in your face about each others' shortcomings, and are not surprised at how they continue to exhibit the same traits. And appreciate when they ameliorate something, and vice versa. Yup. And after a few years (Disappearing Boy fiasco was in 1988-89) you don't even care if you look good to them anymore... so you don't need to clean the house, wear your best clothes, or anything like that. Just someone who knows you that you can catch up with.

"Is it ME?", copyright 2003 Wench77
The other one who screwed me around, Black, is also in my comic, but in a minor role. Yet another one I bothered to not let go. I really do NOT like discord in my life. I was at the bar the other night (and yes, Black has bought into it) and the owner asked me to push her ex down the stairs just for daring to show up there. Compare that to my ex lending me clothes for my girlfriend or for my performances. Maybe I am not so crazy after all.

The other comics-related things today are: I might work out some publishing/distribution thing with my editor from the religion books... his distributor also distributes alternative comics in book form within Canada. I would just have to make sure that though the ISBN was his company's, that I don't give up either editorial control nor copyright. It's my terms or I self-publish. We will discuss over Christmas.

Also I called the people who put out a local comics anthology in book form, and they said it cost them $3900 Cdn before taxes to print 1000 books. I hate to say but that is twice what i expected. I will call the printing company and see if I get a smaller cut size, different page number, and perhaps 500 copies to start instead of 1000 for my new book. 500 copies still go along way when you are not Bill Waterson or in the Oprah Book Club.

AND the owner of the Cafe Toast Thé was telling me he wants to put out a "journal", ie a little printed newspaper for the local people, with one of his waitresses as the editor, in the new year. And he is interested in me running a regular comic column in it. Maybe sex tips with a "sexpert" and guest questions... that would be a total blast, and get my stuff seen locally. It is always funny when people in the UK, France, Australia and San Francisco know my comics but not people who I bump into everyday.

(oh yeah, another comics thing... I applied for a comics space on Keenspace.com, but apparently it takes at least 7 days to process. So they can see I really do a comic I guess. I was hoping to sign up for it to have a place to host the "Protection Racket" comic, and not waste uploading space here, but that'll have to wait. I'll let ya know when I am approved and up and running.)

So, a good exes day, and a good comics day. Someone for dinner tomorrow night. Prezzies to open. A tree to decorate. A new novel to read with leftovers on the 25th, and then cooking a vegetarian meal on the 26th for my friend and her girlfriend. Gotta figure out what the hellarnation I used previously for their AKA's in this diary. She's a librarian and her girlfriend is a lawyer. They got married Las Vegas style at Crystal Wedding Chapel in London Ontario on Labour Day weekend. They used to live in London, and moved here recently. It was one of the first lesbian marriages (well, one of the first couple hundred!!)... and they are the ones that suggested I propose marriage to ob so that she could come here and not be "in Vermont"! :) Check out the Wedding Chapel... you can even get married in the vehicle of your choice, rent a bridesmaid, or have Elvis walk you down the aisle!! The woman is sweet as heck, and she and her son just believe that people, any people, should be able to get married if they want. Even the wedding reservation form changes to "partner one and partner two " from "husband and wife" if you have a samesex marriage. They are so nice on the phone too, and didn't make me pay for the wedding even though with all the mess, I forgot to cancel 24 hours in advance. That is service! :)

Now we'll see, if ob will talk to me again, in the next 10 years we might become friendly again and can laugh over photos of nasty things in cemetaries and travelling deities. Anything is possible if you don't stay stuck at the status quo. Be forgiving people. We are all assholes. We all fuck up even when we try to be nice. We all have horrid judgment if looked at from another's point of view. And even the most hardened criminal has been nice to someone or something at some time.

Like it said on the breadboard on my grandmother's kitchen wall:

There is so much good in the worst of us,
and so much bad in the best of us,
that it hardly behooves any of us,
to talk about the rest of us.
. Well, you can see I still talk, (and so did my Grandma... she said : "if they don't want me saying they did that, they shouldn't have done it"!!) and expect others to as well, but I do believe in the good in the worst of us and bad in the best of us parts. So there. Angels will be saving someone else when you need them, and it may be the fallen one that will pull you away just before the train hits you. One NEVER KNOWS.

Read my other entries today:

Hurting
Think about something else
Nevada Snow

Another quote for today, thanks to SquirrelX and the military of all things:

"Risk more than others think is safe.
Care more than others think is wise.
Dream more than others think is practical.
Expect more than others think is possible."

__Cadet maxim, US Marine Academy

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009

 

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