Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

Ears: CBC Radio One interview with Chuck Polahniuk, writer of "Fight Club, "Fugitives and Refugees: a walk in Portland

Book:"Life of Pi" by Yann Martel: pp 70-......

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

101 Things About Me

Do My Surveys
(scroll down)

To Do List

To Buy List

Free Guestmap from Bravenet 

2003-08-26 - 6:38 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
(JavaScript Error)

WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Chuck Palahniuk on Radio One

Ahhh, nearly 7pm already. No idea where the day goes. I did manage to get the last few drawings off to my NY client before 6pm. No response at my Bear client's, so I have no feedback on my work, or info about whether I can pick up my original sketches tomorrow. I am inspired by the Bear project and would like to go full steam ahead with it while my heart is in it.

I realize I am rather obsessive compulsive.

Today chatting with my NY client about the discoveries I make when doing research for their drawings: in this instance finding the maggots image for my website, and discovering that the Egyptian sun god Ra has an alter ego of the night: Khepera (many different spellings)... who has a scarab beetle for a head and who ferries the sun through the underworld so it will be in the East again for its morning resurrection. Many beautiful images: jewelry, basreliefs on monuments, paintings... The scarab with wings.

Religion is an amazing thing. Today reading in Life of Pi, how the three religious leaders who each think that Pi has become a devout (chose one) Christian, Muslim, Hindu come into contact. They are all more similar than different in how they put down the other religions and insist that Pi must be a single adherent to theirs.

This makes me think of ob, and her fascination with religion, which I am quickly growing to share in the past year. And how that translates to her multiple worship of different Dommes/lovers. How one can be devout worshipper of more than one and be wholeheartedly honest. My problem is similar to the religious leaders in Pi... I think "how can the love of me coincide with the worship of the other?". Actually I try to make space for her worship of the many. But somehow this seems not possible within herself. She does not seem to be able to negotiate.

As if Pi promised to assist the liturgy at the Church on Sunday, but then didnt show up in order to worship Allah elsewhere. That would put lie to the "all are one, one is all" harmony. I don't have problem with the worship of others (other than a bit of personal insecurity which is my baggage), but rather with being promised something which is withdrawn or disregarded. Being stood up. Lost opportunities. Changes of allegiance. The word of pc now worth nothing. So sad and so unnecessary. It may be possible to have it all, with wise scheduling, foresight and empathic compromise.

Today they are talking on the radio about a "Bereavement Register"... where one can register their loved recently deceased. They are talking about the pain felt by relatives when they get mail for departed loved ones. Oh, don't we know it. The past bleeding into the present.

I am inspired by Life of Pi to get a prayer rug as well as a rosary and Marys. And maybe wear my muslim headcovering. What would be the reactions? Is it blasphemous or honoring? If there is a god, what do they see, care about? If you cover your head in the presence of god, shouldnt it be covered every moment, whether in public, in worship, in bed, in the shower? Much to think on.

I am hungry and going to go out now. I realize that I am not fully functioning in my life when I feel no desire to cook or tend my garden. I just want to work on my website, my contracts, my diary. Read my novel and reconstruct my contact with people in the world. Chew over life goals.

I will write tonight a webpage about being in love. "In" as immersed in. "Love" as in valuing, cherishing, wanting, holding, wonderment.

3:16 am

Well, I didnt get a webpage on "In" "Love" done tonight. However I did manage to redo my whole Detroit area of my website, and finally upload photos of Victorian houses who were victims of arson, which I had scanned in back about 6 months. I still want to put a page or two on the Trtl graffiti we saw there, and the Detroit churches... most of which are sordid little storefront affairs. Very curious, that city. I realize I hated it to start with, and now it enthralls me. So typical!!

Doing ok tonight but rather crabby I realise. Finished with my NY sketches and wanted to be social so called M.Black and set up a date to go over and hang with him and his girlfriend. Ended up running a wee bit late because of an inspiring conversation with a choreographer at the Belles Soeurs resto, and then a phone conversation with Pirate Cousin. Finally, it turned into a torrential downpour, and I realise that I had also dumped my bike with a flat tire a week ago (there may only be a stripped frame left on the lamppost when I go by tomorrow!!), and so must take a bus. Buses only go every half hour in the evening.

Got the dog out to pee and was towelling her off when M.Black called to say it was too late for a visit. I got rather cranky... stuck at home again, too late to make alternate plans. And so sick of sitting at my desk.

Well, I ended up with computer back syndrome again, but was so productive with my html.Wench's Homepage

I guess I should mention something about the Radio One interview with Mr. Palahniuk. I tuned in just as he was telling how he uses writing to deal with his personal life shit. My ears pricked up of course. Interestingly his father was shot to death. Apparently he had a weakness for women, and ended up meeting a woman who,unknown to the father, had a murderously homicidal (now there is redundancy!) ex who had told her he would kill any man he caught her with. So sure enough, he got shot to death when this ex burst in on him and the woman in bed. Now there is REAL LIFE DRAMA for you! Does one need to create drama? No, life obliges.

Now the INCREDIBLE thing is that Mr. Palahniuk's father was the childhood survivor of a murder... apparently his own father (Mr. Palahniuk's grandfather) went bananas and hunted down him and his mom. He remembered hiding under the bed or somesuch while the father's boots walked back and forth, looking for him. He hid while his father gave up, shot his wife and then himself.

So Mr. Palahniuk's father was an orphan due to a murder/suicide. The theory is that he spent his life searching for a mother... manically sexually addicted, going out with one woman after another, cheating on them left and right, constantly with the fear of the father with the gun chasing him. And in the end, the gun caught up with him, in bed with one of these women.

One couldnt ask for a better tying up of loose ends by fate. No wonder Mr. Palahniuk became a writer... I can relate, though my life is so dull in comparison. That is drama, and my life is a b-grade sitcom with a laughtrack of hyenas. By the way Chuck Palahniuk wrote Diary (most recently), The Fight Club and I believe another 4or 6 books. Look on I must read some, now that I have heard the man speak. He is an inspiration.

Well, now I am off to read Life of Pi some more. Too bad I have no lime, or I would drink my last Corona in the fridge.

Tahtah... another day tomorrow.
On the agenda: stop by "Venez Tels Quels", try to find a straight razor, pick up pieces of my bike, speak to my therapist.blahblah.
Goodnitesleeptight my dear wenchie self.

0 People have left cute, callous or caring comments on the wench's wordiness!!
Leave yours too!!

Go to "notes" instead of comments

Join my Notify List and get email when I post a private entry:
Powered by
ps, you'll need to email me for a username and password


previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!

Prism Comics!

*inspired by Chaosdaily