Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing
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Saturday, Apr. 22, 2006 - 10:56 p.m.
WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.
Doggie Wheels Goddoggit!
OK, I am going to come clean.
I have yes, been hanging out with artsyguy again.
He called twice and then came over on Easter Monday, and said he thought I might have gotten the wrong idea that he is seeing his ex again, he is not... she is hanging with his kid's mom. Well, that sounds right. I have only seen her with him when he is with the kid's mom, and I have seen her on the street three or four times with kid's mom. And he said he is irritable and shorttempered with everyone these days, including his kids, his kid's mom, his friends, and it is not me that is getting on his nerves, just everyone, and that he's sorry. He doesn't know what he wants and is feeling like he needs space but is also lonely and likes when I come by, his door is open to me if I still want to come by etc.
And then he took me out for coffee. Anyways, it was a bit of paranoia on my part that he cannot stand me and was still or again seeing his ex.
OK, so I made him dinner for his birthday like I had planned, and it even seemed like his first choice of where to be, since the guys at work invited him out and he only went with them for a half hour before he called and said he was coming over to my place. So that is nice. We had a nice evening. I got him some climbing holds so he can install them at his place for him and his kid to practice on and he was really happy. So, him being uncomfortable with me giving them easter chocolate was cuz he felt bad that he hadn't bought any for me in return, nor for his own kids, vs being uncomfortable cuz it was ME giving him something and he didn't want anything from me. I got it wrong. But I know that I get really uncomfortable when I don't want to encourage someone liking me and they give me things and that is what I thought was happening. It was not.
So I was happy that I am not making people miserable and wanting to avoid me by being nice to them. yay. And now I am less of a miserable bitch to myself and my friends. Funny that.
I had a really busy week. No work. Just spending money.
I took motorcycle boy for dinner (we had sushi) on Tuesday night. I had artsyguy for his birthday supper on Wednesday (I made an amazing carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, if I do say so myself). I took my illustration mentor for dinner on Thursday night and got all dressed up nice and feminine. He had jokingly complained once when I stopped by on the way to a party that he never gets to see me like that. So I dressed for him. :D The dinners for motorcycle boy and my mentor were to thank them for helping me get a good price on the recent work I did (actually amonth ago) for a tv commercial.
Then last night Disappearing Boy came over to look at my plaster job in the bathroom... he will help me finish it on Monday. And took me out for a coffee and we continued with beer (him) and porto (me). I had three glasses. I am a cheap drunk I am. but dang. That was wine for three nights in a row and then porto. I am becoming a lush! And now I am smoking the hookah! ack!!
After the porto I just wanted to sleep but I had to go to a friend's first M*ary K*ay launch party to be supportive. It was sort of fun except for listening to all the positive talk about the company. ack. I thought it would be all about makeup but instead we exfoliated and moisturized our hands and our lips. Yes, we EXFOLIATED our LIPS!! dang. And many women took out their credit cards. I just ate her veggies and dip and smiled. And was supportive. And came home, ate some carrot cake and crashed.
One thing I have been doing is researching dog carts. Here is a great site that compares the kinds available on the market. If you have any sort of disabled pet, that is a great site. Now I have to find a way to make big bucks, or at least $500 US, in order to get wheels for doggies. Her rear end is just not doing the job enough anymore. She gets bummed out walking more than three blocks. And I think she needs some support. I keep joking I need to have her on rollerblades. So I finally started researching wheels.
My first choice would be this one, which is a sling one, mostly because you put the pelvic support on the dog first like a pair of pants, and thenclip it into the cart.
Most of the other carts you have to lift the dog INTO the cart. There is no way I can lift the back end of a Saint Bernard high enough to put her legs into something two or three feet off the ground. Though some people seem to manage itNow if she were only a daschund!!
The attractive thing about the "lift into" fixed saddle cart is that I could get a counterbalanced one, that would take some of the weight off her arthritic shoulders as well as helping her rear end. hmmmm....
Unfortunately the only cart in which she could actually lie down is this one called the dogmobile, made in the UK. It is only for dogs who have NO use of their hind legs so it isn't appropriate for her. AND it costs 290 UK pounds. yikes. hah!!
In the meantime, while I am trying to decide what I could sell to get her a wheelchair, I might make her one of these myself... looks totally within my sewing capacities. It would help going up stairs, and also with the problem of her falling on her butt... into her poops, when she tries to squat to poop. ooopppsss!!!*
ok, now it is past midnight and I think I need to go to sleep. yikes eh! Is that what they call aging, or just me turning my schedule around to a socially-acceptable day one instead of the nightowl I was for twenty years? yikes!!!!
You know, I feel really sheepish about not posting photos for like ages. I hate my scanner setup since September. I have tons of photos. Photos of doggies, photos of my potato-in-a-pot growing experiment, photos of my broken plumbing and renovations, yeah, lots of photos. And I just cannot be bothered to scan them in. Me bad. I'll try to get a few photos up one of these days. But maybe I have just fallen out of love with diaryland. yikes.
feeling too exposed sometimes. I never worried about it before. Oh well.
well, gnite all!
me,
wenchie
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previous meanderings - future past
Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009
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