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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Saturday, Sept. 03, 2005 - 3:01 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Tri-Lamb Material?? BA-A-A-A-A-Aaaa

Tri-Lamb Material
78 % Nerd, 21% Geek, 65% Dork
For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.

You scored better than half in Nerd and Dork, earning you the coveted title of: Tri-Lamb Material.

The classic, "80's" nerd, you are what most people think of when they think "nerd," largely due to 80's movies like Revenge of the Nerds and TV shows like Head of the Class. You're exceptionally bright and smart, and partly because of that have never quite fit in with your peers or social groups. Perhaps you're realized, or will someday, that it is possible to retain all of the things that you like about being brilliant and still make peace with the social cliques around you. Or maybe you won't--it's really not necessary. As the brothers of Lambda Lambda Lambda discovered, you're fine just the way you are and can take pride in that. I mean, who wants to be like Ogre, right!?


Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Professional Wrestling
Love & Sexuality

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 80% on nerdiness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 15% on geekosity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 94% on dork points
Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid

Well, that was very fun. Hmmm. I scored higher than 94% of respondents of my gender and age on dorkiness. Now what a big surprise. Dang.

On other news, learning someone is not compatible with you for a Big Thing is a good way to waste time, um, spend time. I didn't get anything done last night after the Rope Bondage for Sex workshop... as in "any WORK".

The guy I was talking to at a party a month or two ago, who was also dancing with me (and other people) last Friday (when I was dressed like a lesbian camper) was at the workshop too, and we did rope bondage practice on eachnother. Well, mostly he vainly attempted to come up with a position to put me into (dang, has he no active sex imagination when confronted by my lithe sensual body??), and halfheartedly attempted to use the ties we learned to put me into his non-fixed-in-his-mind position. It was mostly like domming myself to keep my mouth shut, not make suggestions, not correct which way he was tying something, or suggest a different tie for that body part etc. I tried to stay out of it. And he sort of goodnaturedly blathered about with rope and elbows and knees and all.

Let's say he is not a takecharge sort of guy, not very mechanically oriented either, nor really good with the skills part of it.

I, on the other hand, decided that he was too tall for boinking in an upright position, put him into a position on a bar stool of perched on the edge (to lower his height), put one leg out as a brace, secured with a bamboo bar to the chairleg, put the other foot on the rung of the chair, secured it there with a two column tie, tied his hands together behind his back, attached them securely to the back of the chair, and there we have it. Instant stable lowered fuck the boy on the bar stool position.

I was very happy with my swift and tidy rope handling despite not touching it for like two years, my decisive positioning of his body, and Mi*dori herself complimented me on a practical and efficient tying into a handy fuckaboy position. (let's give him a name. Artistboy, ok?) Artistboy himself seemed quite happy and willing and only expressed dismay afterwards with the fact he didn't even get any real humping out of it, only airhumping as I showed how well the position would work. hehe

We went for coffee/pizza afterwards and continued our previous conversation about the fuckedupedness of parents, and then I got on the subject of the end with ob. He walked me back to my place and we walked doggies together, chatting all the while. And then I went to show him some stuff on the internet, saying I waste a lot of time on it (he doesn't even have a puter let alone internet) and he said something about me wasting my time looking at porn.

Well, I only look at one porn site (and just the nonpaying summaries), so I showed it to him. Well, turns out he is not so into the porn I like, and prefers dominant feminine women dressed in fetish fashion. Ahhh yes.

Funny, while we were tying eachother up someone made a comment about him being a natural sub and me being a natural dominant. Ahhhh. Natural take control independent woman yah. Natural dominant, i dunno about that.

Personally I get pretty damn fed up and tired of being in charge of every effin thing in my life, and the last thing I really really want is a subby boyfriend who asks me what to do and how, and expects me to run the whole sex thing as well.

Add in some guy who wants to be tied up and ordered to kiss my highheeled boots etc? Oh dear. I do admit I have an obnoxious smartass side to me. Such as when he was tied up he asked if I would take a cigarette out of his shirt pocket, light it and put it in his mouth. Well, I took it out, lighted it and blew smoke in his face. hehe. Had a little chat with Mi*dori about how she prefers cigars and I like the hookah.

But from there to actually finding it sexually titillating? nope.

I felt proud of my handiwork with the knots and all, but I felt the same as if I had finished a good piece of macrame, or succeeded in a sailboat rigging workshop or somesuch. It wasn't a sexual high, it was just happiness at my competence in the task at hand.

So, there we know. Me and Artistboy are not a couple to be. We get along nicely as friends it seems. He might be ok for a roll in the hay or two even (if he can manage to be even the vaguest bit more assertive, ie more assertive than an agreeable wet noodle). But that's about it.

So, even though I only got to bed (alone, thankyou) at about 6:20 am, and got no work done, I consider it time well spent. I know to develop a friendship and not any romantic/sexual/partnership expectations. So shall waste no time there in the future. yay.

I did have to scan my hand/wrist before going to the bondage class though, since i knew of course that I'd have to cut off my musicfest wristband to get my wrists tied together. hehe. So here it is, sucky sentimental me that still had it on despite being home since Aug 15:

Besides that, I should have planned to go out last night, not work, since it was a girls play night in the basement after the workshop. Lots of friends were there. But went for pizza and home instead. (and got no work done).

As a result of no work yesterday, I cancelled my plans for this evening, which was to go to another Mi*dori workshop on latex care and play, followed by the 10th anniversary party of my ex's latex clothing business. I was even a good girl and called and told him sorry I wasn't attending but I wished him a great party and congrats on the successful 10 yrs of business. He sounded very surprised. hah.

OK, that's about it. It isn't so late, but I didn't get so much sleep last night and have TWO Mi*dori workshops to go to on Saturday: one about planning successful rope scenes, and the other blush and squirm or somesuch, about erotic humiliation from mild embarrassment to deep humiliation. hmmm. And there IS a playparty afterwards. I got a car so it is open whether I want to go to that or not. I'll play it by feel. Depends on who is there.

Oh, and that kids' novel I was plugging away on while procrastinating horrifically last two weeks? The editor says it is great and no changes required. hah. Forward and onward.

nite nite. Me, wenchie.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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