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Tuesday, Feb. 01, 2005 - 7:02 p.m.

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Redefining? Marriage, or Making Access Equal?


Sorry that is about the samesex marriage debate thingie here in Canada.

They keep saying "changing the definition of marriage".

Why do they keep saying that?.

Is it "changing the definition of voting" to let women vote as well as men?

If they let women drive cars in Saudi Arabia, will it "change the definition of driver"?

Marriage will still mean falling in love with another person. Asking them to be your partner. Standing in front of an official, whether religious or civil, and pledging to stay together as an interdependent unit. Signing some papers saying such. Inviting your family and friends optional. Wearing special clothes optional. Reception, flowers, honeymoon optional.

All else optional. Raising children optional. Living together optional. Being nice to eachother optional. Staying together more than three days before you file for divorce optional.

If "marriage" can encompass different races, different religions (yes there are Christians who marry Jews, etc etc), different ages, even different countries, then why the hell does it "change the definition" to let the two people be any gender? How?

Did we "redefine marriage" when we made it so you cannot marry off your ten year old daughter? Did we "redefine marriage" when we made it so blacks and white could marry eachother? Does it ruin society to let atheists or agnostics marry, since it is such a religious institution? Do churches fall, when a Buddhist marries a Muslim??

Do people have to resign from being a marriage officiate or other if they are confronted with a married couple who are both atheist? Does that offend their religious sensibilities, and their morals? I mean, if the definition of marriage is "being joined in the eyes of God", how can these pious moral religious people even rent a hotel room to people who have not had a religious wedding, but sign the register "Mr. and Mrs. Smith? If they are agnostic, or atheist or Buddhist, isn't that fornication in the eyes of a Christian God??

No? You can recognize the couple down the street who have a mixed religious marriage? You don't have to have a nonwithstanding clause to opt out of recognizing interracial marriages? You don't have to change the constitution to ban atheists from marrying, or infertile people? Why the hell is this not a problem if gay people are such a problem?

How the hell can all of society go to hell, simply because the lesbian couple who live next door live together "in matrimony" instead of "in sin"?? Why is "traditional marriage" (which by the way DOES include polygamy, polyandry, marrying uncles to widowed women without love, marrying your young daughter off to your best friend 30 yrs her senior etc etc), suddenly incapable of being flexible enough to encompass a man marrying a man he loves instead of a woman he doesn't love?? Why is "marriage" such a fragile concept?

Really people.

If I marry a woman or if I marry a man, it is none of your business. If it offends you so much you shouldn't be interacting with me.

If you are racist and won't recognize black people as being married to white people, even though the state married them, you need to find a job where you are not fucking people over. It is NOT your prerogative to ignore laws and go by what you find "moral" when it is none of your business.

If you won't massage fat people, don't be a massage therapist. If you don't believe in birth control, don't work in a pharmacy and then refuse to sell it. If you don't believe in killing people, don't join the army. If you cannot speak to men outside your family because of your religious beliefs, don't take a job as a nurse. If you are against giving business loans to women, you shouldn't be a loan officer in a bank.

Sure, you can live your life according to your principles, but if your principles mean you cannot do your job with the public, then you need to change jobs. I suppose I could always get a job as a public executioner in Texas and then plead religious freedom and refuse to kill anyone. My God says "thou shalt not kill". Hmmm.

I wonder what the Texan (or Albertan) republicans would say then.

No. I don't feel bad that some marriage commissioners stepped down, and that was the correct thing to do, if they cannot do their job without discrimination.


I iwill reply to Chaosdaily's comment here:


i personally dont believe in marriage. the only reason i got married was because it provided the kids with a more stable home. i would NEVER get married again. its just paper....
My reply
Ah, I stopped believing in marriage when my parents separated when I was eleven (then it took three years separation to get divorced unless there was provable abuse)... I realized you cannot promise to love someone forever.

However that piece of paper is the same as a lease, a contract for work, etc. It formalizes a situation, makes it legal and real, vs the word of someone on a good day. It means you can inherit the house, you can bring your partner across borders, you can get into the hospital to see your partner, you can sign consent papers for your children to go on school trips. As renting a home or doing contract work without a paper is iffy, so is a life-partnership without paper. Note that you say you married to provide the kids with a more stable home. I would posit that is one of the reasons many gays and lesbians (and bisexuals) would want to marry. I have lesbian friends who are married. They married in London, ON because of the visitation in hospital/ inheritance issue... they have been together for years, and own a house etc, and the parents of one of the women is very anti-gay. The house etc would go to them, not the girlfriend (now wife) if they didn't have a paper, or in very least would be in legal court for ages. Note that the woman with anti-gay parents is a lawyer, and thought this marriage was the best bet.

I wanted to marry my ex, ob, to be able to bring her to Canada so we could be together. Cheers.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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