Thursday, Jun. 09, 2005 - 9:06 p.m.
Cost of the War in Iraq
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A Sprinkler Run Amok
How do you make people understand?
Yes, but look, if water didn't move when it rains, there would be no rivers, no underground streams, no lakes, cuz water wouldn't accumulate in low spaces. It would nicely stay the exact spot where it rained, equally spread out.
No, dear neighbor. If you just transplanted things, and it is DRY yes DRY in the top six inches of soil from the sun, and you water it for four hours, it will be dry in the top six inches in two days from the sun, whether you water it for fifteen minutes or whether you water it for four hours.
The water just goes down. And down and down and down. Filling up my basement, or the water table three feet down or six feet down will not help your little transplants. It may help the trees. But if it is seeping through my basement floor, it is too wet even for the trees. What you are watering is the sewer system.
"But it is dry on the top in a couple of days when it is hot and sunny, so I neeeeeed to water it looooonger". Dear lady, if you want to wash your hair, your hair will not be any wetter if you sprinkle water for five minutes on your head, or if you run it over your head for twenty minutes and let it accumulate at your feet. Dear lady, if you run water on your head for an hour, not only will your head not be any wetter, or dry any more slowly, your bathtub will also run over and flood the kitchen floor, and if you keep running it, it may very well even seep into the basement. "But I don't get it! I was just wanting to really really wet my hair... and the basement is so far away, how could it get there when I am wetting my hair?"
Dear lady, if you stand in a bathtub of water, your hair will still be dry in an hour. But your feet will be darn wet. And dear lady, if your Lady, my basement is my feet. Please only water your hair. Water it more often if you like, but please stop flooding over here.
The water table is full. My basement doesn't have water running in it, but where I put in the french drains the concrete is consistently damp to the point of wetting your finger if you touch it. That means that the ground is wet wet wet. Very wet. Exceedingly wet.
"We had a lot of rain this spring" she says... yup. That means the water table is full. And when the water table is full, it runs. Towards the river. Let's see. Who is uphill from me? Her. Who is towards the river from her? Me. I really don't understand how that is so difficult to comprehend.
But she insists that her ground is dry (on top) and my basement is too far away (20 feet) for her hours of water (she can leave it on all evening, moving it from one place to another with her little sprinkler) to bother me.
I really wish someday she'd put it into a large container, let's say a swimming pool. And see that if you leave a hose running from 6pm to 4am, it doesn't just put enough water to wet her tiny (two pieces of dirt 10 feet by 8 feet) yard, abut in fact WOULD fill a swimming pool, with not one iota of space for dirt, rocks or roots. Add the rocks, dirt and roots, and it would overflow... um. to my place.
I wish I could strangle her.
Or just sprinkle her head with cold water... just the top of course... for about four hours, and see if she notices that it eventually wets her body, then the floor, then the next room, and then out the door.
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Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
*inspired by Chaosdaily