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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Monday, Aug. 30, 2004 - 2:35 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

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Just reading my comments from yesterday's entry.... look, I don't follow the Spice Girls... I have no idea who is now anorexic, who is doing the Oprah weight thing.... I just saw the movie... and here is a still from the movie that shows what I mean by the L-Word hip implant "hipster pants hanging off bones" look.

You can see that Sporty has that look. Victoria Beckham is still childbearing hips and buxom. That is what I mean. What they did after that, who the hell knows. (well, millions of people, but not me. I am the girl who has to google every bloody name in those Quizillas when it asks "which of these celebrities would you rather date"?? cuz I have no clue about a one of them!!)

I am also amused that people don't think there is a psychology to bondage. Is there a psychology to dating? How about a psychology of sex? How about a psychology of food? um yup.

If you offer to tie someone up (same as if you invite them to ride a horse or go whitewater rafting)... their thoughtpatterns and emotions will be number a-1 determinants... are they excited about the risk and daring? Do they have a love of horses or water sports? (get your minds out of the gutter!) Are they afraid of large animals they don't know how to control? Have they always had a fear of drowning? Do they love to feel their body moving in challenging situations using all their muscles? Psychology. yup.

How about bondage? One of her questions yesterday to the room was "what are different intents to do bondage?... and we had about 15 answers. Think of the difference of being tied down only by the wrists with silk ribbons in a candlelit room on the bed, being caressed with feathers and the tongue of your lover.

And then think about being stalked by a shadowy character in the alley, having a rope thrown over your body, yanked off your feet and hogtied on your side in a puddle on the concrete in the dark while someone interrogates you.

Are they both bondage? If a person wanted one would they be satisfied if they got the other at that moment? Are they the same thing? Oh the importance of fantasies!! One has to know where one is going in order to bring the massage oils or the police boots, the silk ribbon or the rough rope.

How about color of rope? Body position? Do you feel sexy spread eagled or with your ankles tied together? Do you even care about feeling sexy? What if you are into "you can tie me into a beautiful art piece" or "I am proud of myself when I endure physical challenges: I hope that she puts me into suspension" (btw don't do suspension at home eh, safety safety... unless you have taken classes and know what you're doing!!)

Anyways, yeah, the psychology of bondage.

And yes, I get the google search strings through the stats... funny eh! The more things you write about of course the more hits you will get... at my comic site the strings are very dull: my name, "comics", "comic store in SF", etc.... but it is because the actual words on the site are very limited so if you plugged in "playing softball" you wouldn't get my comics since the comics are jpegs and named with dates, not topics. :)


A rainy day to walk the doggies and get lots of work done. How appropriate for after a week of craziness!!

Well, gotta find a photo of myself to scan for an editor... tah! and thanks everyone for reading, and for your support. Thank god this tenant thing is over!!


ps, I am TOTALLY ADDICTED to the L-Word, DAMN!! There is one character and thread there that reminds me of the mess with ob... the girl is totally drawn to this other woman and makes every move possible to get to see her more, behind her guy's back, but she loves the guy, and tells him all she wants is to be his wife. It was just TOOO freaky, cuz after he found her betraying him, she swears she has made a huge mistake, it will never happen again, and she still wants to marry him... unlike us, she doesn't have a chance of three days with the other woman to fuck him around: they end up rushing off and getting married in a little trash chapel, exactly like the one I booked a date with ob at. Then he can't make love with her and ends up walking out on her in the middle of the night in the hotel... and later is worried what became of her.

Can I relate? huh? um big time. And what a confused little fucker she is, dishonest with herself and him. Yup. "I love you, I want to be your wife, don't leave me don't leave me, it was a huge mistake"... gee, you'd think that the scriptwriter consulted with me before writing those scenes. Incredible how people create their own havoc... the interviews with the cast before the preview talks about how this character has to come to grips with how her own emotional choices create havoc in her life and those around her. I HAVE seen episode 7 and 9 already so I have some clue of the mess she really does make... and what goes when you swing back and forth, professing love here, and passion there, and back and forth, is trust. That is the thing that goes. Not love. Someone can still love you, find you sexy and adorable, but will treat you like a rattlesnake in their livingroom once you have blown their trust, their conception of you, and cannot count on any consistency of thought or behaviour, any consistency between words and actions.

Anyways, I think the acting and reactions are spot-on. Lots of stereotypes, heavily overloaded with nonstop drama (hell, it's a tv drama people!), but totally spot on.


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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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