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Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
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Thursday, Feb. 09, 2006 - 8:38 p.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Self-Employment CAN Suck

I am a bit stressed out about money these days.
I ended up not doing that color picture book with the 2 moms in it last fall, so that was a couple thousand less than expected, and the South Korean contract took ten months instead of 5 months for the same income, so that was paid half the wage I thought I'd earn. So it wasn't a high earning year last year.

And then my January was pretty slow... I took lots of time to spend with artsyguy and his kids (thinking I was starting a relationship... maybe it will be a friendship), and went to visit my mom in Vancouver.

I have a couple drawings with South Korea on a new project (grrr, it is late again... I was supposed to have the second part of the project Feb 3 and still haven't received it) ... it is only $1500 which is not going to get me out of the credit margin hole. And I have a couple drawings for another client: english as a second language book for adults... but they are infamous for taking forever to go ahead on the final illustrations once I have sent them the sketches. And I of course cannot bill them until I do the finals, and THEN they take a month to pay me.

So, I haven't billed a penny for over two months, with no expectations for $ to come in for weeks if not months. And wee bits of money.

Did I mention that I was planning to foster or adopt kids this year? Ok, just one kid. But I had hoped to work hard first and make $$ and get out of debt and have some put aside. Big fat haha.

So, I have been working like crazy on updating my professional website (there are advantages to not having a boyfriend anymore... lots more time), and today I spent the whole day phoning past clients or others who have contacted me interested in my work, and threw out all the outdated contact info, updated the ones I could trace down. So many companies move, merge with others, change names, change employees. So many people I have worked with have left one company for another, have started their own companies, or have just changed careers. There was maybe three the whole day who had the same people and contact info. Dang.

So, once I get the contact info up to date, it is time to make a promo piece and send out samples. Now if I hadn't been fucking around with artsyguy, I would have done this in December and over Christmas. In fact, I wouldn't have needed a new promo piece, cuz I could have sent out the christmas card I did. hah. It is tooooo late for a Christmas card. And when I was with him, I was working on a book, and preparing for Christmas with a family for once, instead of calling companies to update mailing info. Dang.

So, it is a great thing to get things going on the promo level, but realistically, I won't have any actual moolah from this for months. I have to send out the promos, the clients have to match me with a project, which could take months, even if they like my stuff... then I have to do the work, bill it and wait a month for the check. OK, I might earn some money in June. Mwahahaha!!

Did I mention I need to put money into an RRSP by the end of the month, and pay my taxes in April? hahahaha!! Did I think, about three or five years ago, that I could call myself "a success"?? Well, yes I did. Things were going uphill uphill. Well, suckorama, what goes up must come down.

One of the books I did is being remaindered. They have nearly 5000 unsold copies. Yes, 5000. They are selling the softcover version 25cents apiece and the hardcover 50cents apiece, if I want to buy them. Dang. The hardcover sold to the public at $16. Now it is 50 cents.

And um, deary me, if that isn't the book from which I used an illustration this year to promote myself. Isn't that great? People will go "lovely drawing, did the book sell??" and I can say "oh, it is remaindered now". yurp. deary me.
Bad timing.

OK, gotta get back to updating my art directors' mailing list.
and sorry, there aren't many exciting private entries now I finally made a private site, since it was mostly to talk about my relationship, which I didn't want artsyguy to read. But now there is no relationship. (though I went by the other day to return a tupperware and give him some huge lettuce heads that I had bought thinking I was buying lettuce for four, not one, and he kissed me on the cheeks and then on the mouth, quickly. Hmmm. we have broken up, dear artsyguy. No mouth kissing)

OK, tah!
Wish me luck, that someone I have no idea of, is composing an email to me right now, asking me to do a $10,000 contract in the next few weeks. ok?? thanks!!

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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