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Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
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Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
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- Pueblo Blessing

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Saturday, May. 08, 2004 - 4:11 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Stage Four is a Bad Place to Be


Sometimes you have to wrack your brain and wonder. Did I curse someone. Did I hope that their underwear was soiled when they got hit by a bus? Did I hope that they were dumped on the altar in front of a wedding party of 500, televised preferably. Did I hope that they won an academy award and accepted it with spinach in their teeth and toilet paper stuck to their butt??

I have wracked my brain and I don't think it is my fault. I never could have wished this on anyone even if I was aware that such a thing existed.

It is a horrid and nasty insidious thing. Stage four ovarian cancer. I googled it. It is hard to tell. Seems some people who are still alive today had stage 4 ovarian cancer as far back as 1993, ie 11 years ago. On the other hand this UK cancer web page says that doctors consider if you are still alive two years after diagnosis you are doing good. Depending on the study, 7-14% of women who are diagnosed with stage 4 are still living 5 years after the fact.

Apparently stage 4 means that the cancer has spread into the abdomen, out of the pelvic area, affecting such things as the liver, or the lining of the lungs. Hmm.

This part made me cry to read. It is very horrible. Worse than naked Iraqis in a pile, though less likely to start wars or provoke terrorism.

My ex, ob's Hmmm, Mme I guess we'll call her... if they're even still together.. .who knows... apparently has stage four ovarian cancer. It must be something new, since she was performing in February, and who knows, maybe still is.

Now I do not think kindly of this woman. But I don't believe in the death penalty for anything. And I certainly do not dislike her enough to even be the vaguest bit glad she has cancer, even of the easily operable curable type. I think it is incredibly sad, and I am sorry both for her, her family, her friends and ob. Even if they aren't still together, I know ob loves her and admires her. I actually admire her too, for professional work she has done, despite the fact she is a nasty person (to me at least and I have heard other not so nice things).

I am very sorry she has this. I hope she gets the best treatment. I hope she isn't in pain. She is under 40 I believe, and way too young to be thinking of things like terminal illness. Not like there is a better age for such things, and I know people who have terminal illnesses from the time they are born. But this is a young woman with much to do in her life.

Anyways. If ob reads this, I am sorry for your Mme. I hope she can be helped and will be around for many many years. I hope you have the support to make it through this, and I hope that you are doing ok. I imagine you are being the best friend possible for her now.

Well, I learned more than I ever want to know about ovarian cancer today. I guess we all have to live our lives today, cuz we never know what will happen next.

This is the end of this entry.



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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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