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Music Today: Annie Lennox "Medusa"

Hold on to what is good even if it is a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe even if it is a tree which stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do even if it is a long way from here.
Hold on to life even when it is easier letting go.
Hold on to my hand even when I have gone away from you.
- Pueblo Blessing

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Tuesday, Dec. 23, 2003 - 2:19 a.m.

Cost of the War in Iraq
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WARNING!!!! if you know me personally, you may read my diary, but if you do, you take the chance of hearing things you don't want to know, misunderstanding what I've written and being hurt by it. If you are unsure if it is ok to read, save yourself and me the grief and heartache, and ask first!!! Please note that this is a DIARY, ie my subjective feelings, hearsay, suppositions, and outpourings of ranting of the moment. It does not represent objective news, the whole of what I think of a topic or someone, or even a thought-out representation of any of the above. Keep that in mind. Thanks. * Here is a Diary Etiquette Read Me.

Stoned at Midnight

Happy Bunny. I will be posting over the next week or so, pics taken on my trip across the country in a Uhaul with ob. Ones that were in the package refused that was returned today. This is me looking very happy. Entering California in May. Copyright 2003 Wench77
sorry... back in a sec... gotta pee....

There. 2:23 am.

It is still very early for me. I didn't get up til some ridiculous hour since I was awake from noon to 1:30 or somesuch cuz of that parcel and writing an entry. I did get the comic sent off to Seattle.

It is weird it is so early, since I cannot get much done. I was silly and crying and despairing and fantasiziing smashing my face in with a shovel. (fortunately I have pretty good impulse control despite what people think... I'd yell yes and wreak alot more havoc if I didn't... and also only had a tiny red plastic shovel. Though one could do damage with that in a face anyways, sidewayslike)... and then another dogwalker (drinking a beer in the park) offered me a toke. I usually say no, but I figured what the fuck. I did draw three pages of comics while I was at the coffeeshop before dogwalkies. And yesterday sprayed all the plants and vacuumed, AND did a load of laundry today. (now some paying work would be sweet)... so

Entering California with ob in May. California oranges. Copyright 2003 Wench77
I had a toke. And now I am drinking my third corona with lime. It will be the last since I have no more lime. 2 more Corona... I guess I could FISH the lime out of previous bottles. But 3 is enough.

Anyhews, it is early to be fucked up and unable to properly draw, or read, or even put the christmas lights up. It is so funny. Most people i know would laugh, me being fucked up with ONE toke and two beer in me. But I notice that my mind wanders. That it seems to read something very attentively and then wavers off so I cannot remember what the topic even was a few secs ago.

Eery how close that comes to a real serious depression.

Again me goofing off with pirate underwear from ob, coming into California in warm May weather, Copyright 2003 Wench77
Hmmm. Now I am boiling some water to make either perogies or pasta. I think I'll opt for the pasta, with butter and cheese, since I ate the last sour cream on perogies two nights ago. Tonight I had a cheeseburger and fries at Les Belles Soeurs. I forgot to say "no relish" and had to scrape it off. Oh well. And did three pages of a comic. It is growing somewhat organically. I was starting just with a character "You Little Shit", who narrates how to screw someone around: helpful hints. And she uses a couple of women who become acquaintanceslashfriends as a simple example. Then I was going to do the "advanced application" version, and using my ex, C... the one who offered to get me pregnant when I was taking fertility drugs, and then turned out to be lying about safe sex.

It is a long drawn out tale in real life, and I am afeared I am getting TOO into it in the comic, and not keeping up the snappy funny nature of the comic. Oh well. But I did get three pages done tonight which is good, unless I scrap them. Which is possible.

I wish someone were around. Everyone of course is well asleep. And I am stoned anyways. I talked to Yawn a bit, and then with Seite. Discussed the return of the box from ob. It is a weird thing.

I felt more ok at first. And now feeling sad then angry then self-pitying etc. glll. I think, oh, she saw it was from me and then sent it back "return to sender", and then I think no, it has those stickers on it "first notice,'" final notice" etc... indicating she simply didn't go to the postoffice to pick it up. So she never even saw it was the vacation photos. Maybe both happened... she didnt go get it until they were about to return it, and then went there and saw it was from me and refused it. I dunno. Maybe in SF they have a parcel receipt notice that tells you the sender, so you don't have to present yourself at the post office to know if you hate the sender or not. Here you just have to go and get the parcel before you know if it is from your Mom, or your ex you want to kick to death yup.

I am listening to Annie Lennox singing Did you stand by me? . You should read tjj's entry called Guys Suck. And I would add Girls Suck too.

Marys on Greyhound, Aug 13/03, Copyright 2003 Wench77
Well here are the Marys travelling to Musicfest where they expect to be spending three fun days getting their photos taken at workshops and stageshows and dinnerlines with ob and wenchie. They did not have fun. And now they are in SF. They wish they were here having photo adventures.

And here are the Marys walking around Toronto during the huge blackout in the states and Canada, Aug 13, on their way to the Musicfest. That is the busdepot behind them. No open bathrooms in Toronto... I had to pee in an alley. The Marys were part of an historic happening. They were excited, but worried that they didn't have a ride to the Musicfest once they got to Detroit, since all the telephones were out. And also they were threatening that the border at Windsor would be closed due to the blackout. So Marys and I got on a bus having no idea if we were going anywhere besides sitting on the border to Michigan.

Fortunately the border was open, but no power in Detroit. I spent fully 24 hours travelling on the Greyhound and sitting in powerless bus depots to get to ob at the Musicfest. Sigh. I'm soo sooo glad that it was appreciated. Stupid fucking cunt. Sorry. I did not say that. Hmm. must be the beer.

Marys in blackout, Copyright 2003 Wench77

Well, more pictures tomorrow. There are about 18 or 20 rolls of them. Of which I shall post up a select few. But I was darn cute coming into California. And the Marys were darn cute on the bus. I am sorry that ob did not get these. So stupid, so pointless and so sad. I shall keep them. oh well.

Like I said, the plans were already to get rid of the box of photos by putting them into albums so when i need to reference them I can. But that was supposed to GET RID of the box in the middle of the room. I didnt really guess another identical box would arrive two days before to take up just as much useless space. Oh well.

Here is my bizarre horoscope for Monday, December 22:

Intimacy is implied, although it may be difficult in a public place. Future partners draw closer, operating on the same principles. Play and explore under the stars.

Yeah, intimacy is implied. But not actually there. Anywhere. Future partners. Play and explore. unhuh. whatever.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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