Thursday, Dec. 01, 2005 - 7:44 p.m.
Cost of the War in Iraq
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Kiss Kiss Bye Bye
i just feel exhausted.
what are you doing tonight?
having marie over for supper to work something out.
who knows what that means.
custody and timeshare of his kids?
let's just say that when she is over for supper (sans 12 yr old ears) to work something out, I am not over there drawing while he works on his music. Let's just say.
kisses goodbye on the cheeks again.
if only i didn't need to rearrange my life in order to be the vaguest bit available to spend time with someone... after all, if I keep to my normal schedule, I sleep til noon, am doing business shit til 3:30 pm, then drawing in a coffeeshop far from telephone and email til I walk the dog from 5:30-6:30, then work all night. Often I go to the coffeeshop to work til it closes (10pmish) or go to the gym til it closes (10:30 pm), and then I pop home quickly to pick up doggies for her walk. Get home about 11:30 pm.
Do you see time there for having supper with someone, or hanging out after they get home from work and before they go to bed? no. Do you even see that I am home at times when people are likely to call? no. I have free time usually after 1am. If I get my work done.
So, if I don't want to be completely unavailable I have to do things like go to the gym in the afternoon instead of in the evening, or do all the work that needs to be done at home in the afternoon, so that I could perhaps do other work (that doesn't take paintbrushes, large tables etc) at someone's house. It means calling THEM while I am in the house for five minutes between coffeeshop/postoffice/dogwalkies/coffeeshop/gym/dogwalkies.
And then finding out that I have free evenings with no plans.
It is depressing.
Although I think that most things right now feel depressing.
Let's just say I feel like I wasted my hairwashing and putting on clean jeans that actually fit and nice sweater. (note, I usually have a bath late at night ie 4am, before I go to bed, which is not compatible with looking good to see people in the early evening either, so even bodily cleansing and dressing are rearranged if I want to see anyone).
It's ok, I took them off.
I feel like I should be on the Adams Family.
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Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
*inspired by Chaosdaily