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Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2003 - 10:53 p.m.

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Alternamommy is right on/ Weapons Survey Part 2

Hey, I'll write another entry about my weapons survey when I've gotten some work done tonight... in the meantime, read this lucid and well-argued entry about gay marriage and the extinction of all things sacred, courtesy of Alternamommy. Good shit. ***added at 5:20 am: Please read Charley Reese's take on the homosexual marriage issue too... more good shit. Bookmark him and read him often. Sometimes I disagree, but he is always thought provoking. End of addition***And go back and read the scavenged entry I posted on defending Biblical Marriage a few days ago, or yesterday's weapons part 1 entry. yeah. back later. seeya....

2:19 am I swear I am on some kind of timewarp... feels like about 7am, and usually 7am feels like about 2 am. Maybe it is because I went to Tuesday flamenco, which is 5-7pm, vs Thursday flamenco, which is 7:30-9pm. I must say I am very happy to have gone tonight, because between missing my previous regular class, and missing most of the Tuesday class I intended to use to make up my missed class, I was hopeless last Thursday. I sucked big time. Everyone was whirling around doing the Sevillanas and I hadnt even been taught one tiny step of them. I was always on the wrong foot and nearly in tears from frustration. agh.

So tonight, our regular teacher Sonia Del Rio was back (she was replaced by two senior students last week, since her hand was being operated on), and let me tell you, attitude aside, she is one hell of a teacher. Cuz she goes really slowly, and breaks things down into simple steps she repeats over and over til you get it, and THEN puts them together. So, now I DO know how to do the new Sevillanas steps. And let me tell you I will NEVER miss another flamenco class. We have 4 dances we are learning (including the Carmen choreography), and we learn new steps in each class. So if you miss one class, that means the next class you have to deal with 8 new parts that night. AGH! and it is getting harder and more complicated as we go along. But we look darn spiffy, I'll tell ya.

Or at least we think until the BIG GIRLS arrive! You know how you feel all spiffy to be in grade 9, the biggest in the school, and then you are a freshman at highschool, and suddenly you see all the BIG KIDS? yeah, that's what it's like when the advanced class arrives. We're all happy to sort of not be tripping over our feet in our funereal black pants outfits. Then these women arrive with their long hair up, and long swirling skirts red and black and polkadotted with ruffles, and fans. And they do the same Sevillanas as we do, but they are practically unrecognizable, with the swirling material, and the clacking castenets, impeccable timing and attitude. Sigh. One day!!

Ok the weapons questions, here we go:

Weapon's Survey Part 2

21. What would be your weapon of choice if you wanted to commit murder without being caught via the weapon?
Well, I would love to just slash and kill someone if I had a real angry thing for them, but no go. And I'd probably have nightmares afterwards. I once had a disturbing nightmare of kicking a man to death who had attacked me. Hmmm. I would say some frozen food. I hate to say this is not an original idea, but one picks up one's tips where one can. It was from a story I heard on the radio... a woman married to a cop, who came home early from work one day while she was cooking his favorite meal, lobbed him over the head with a pork loin or somesuch when he told her he was leaving her for another woman. She bonked him, then put the meat in the oven, went to the store to buy canned peas, and when she came home, called the cops (who of course were her husbands coworkers) to say she'd come home and he was unexpectedly home early, dead in her kitchen. Hmmm. So they come rushing over, she's got an alibi since she was at the store buying peas, and they stay to eat the poor guy's favorite meal that she had cooked for him, poor widow, and of course they are actually eating the murder weapon. Quite clever. They looked for a blunt object.

22. Name a weapon that you think proves the existence of evil in man, simply by the fact that someone conceived of and created it.
Well, I would think most of them. Ones that aren't made to be tools used for killing animals for food, but rather for killing or hurting or torturing people.

23. What weapon would be cause for you to shy away from someone (as a friend or lover) if they showed you they owned one, or wanted to own one?
explosives. automatic weapons, anything made to torture someone that they looked excited about actually using. Anything biological or chemical. A handgun that they carried around (or had under their pillow) that wasn't needed for their job. I consider a lot of things to be funkily weird and interesting, but I would be leery of someone who really did seem fascinated in a concrete manner

24. Are there any vegetables you would deem lethal weapons?
Well, it is not a vegetable really, since it is not a foodstuff, but rhubarb leaves. I am sure there are many poisonous veggie parts we just normally throw out. Also anything frozen in bulk (not loose like frozen peas)... see above #21. I am sure if you forced them into someone's mouth, almost any cooked vegetable could be used to get someone to choke to death. Hey, probably even uncooked veggies if cut into proper pieces.. like little rounds of carrots, and then you make the person inhale by making em laugh or something. Yup. Many people die from choking on food. urk.

25. Have you ever bitten someone in a fight?
I hate to say, I cannot remember but very likely. Used to fight with my brother and there were lots of scratches etc. Though he bit more than me. I used to shove his own fist into his mouth when he tried to bite or spit on me. Teeth are good weapons.

26. If you were surprised sleeping in your bed at night, what would you use to defend yourself against an attacker?
My legs, my voice. I really don't have that much near my bed to help me out. If I got him down I could strangle him with my vibrator cord. You know, I'd probably just be dead, cuz I sleep really soundly except for my name, kitties puking sound, and telephone.

27. What weapon would you be sure to have on you if you were to walk through a neighborhood where you were afraid of being attacked?
none. I am sure that any weapon I had on me I would be incapable of using properly, and would most likely have it turned against me. I am usually not afraid of being attacked. If I am, I try to find other people, talk loudly, create a disturbance.

28. Which of these do you consider to be a better weapon and why? A porcelain dinner plate, a wooden broom handle, a cup of boiling vegetable oil.
I am fascinated how almost everyone said a broom handle. I dont know about you, but a broom handle is so long, you cannot properly hit with it in a kitchen. A two foot piece of broom handle perhaps, but you seldom have time to saw off a part of a broom handle if you are attacked. Not only is it unwieldy, and would likely get caught on the walls and everything else, you couldnt swing it widely enough to get up any speed, so the attacker could probably just grab it. It is VERY easy to grab a broom handle, since it has no sharp or dangerous spots to watch out for.

If I went with someone with a broomhandle, I would soon find it lodged against my throat with me jammed against the wall, I am sure. Much like the one time I tried to kick someone while I was standing up. The guy just grabbed my ankle and lifted, and I was flat on my back with the wind knocked out of me.

No, no broom handle for me. As for the oil... it really could work... yes, it would only work once, but no matter where you sloshed it on the person, it would burn like a motherfucker. And if it was in the face, the person would be totally freaking and blinded. You'd have to slosh it quickly though, since if you had it near you and the guy was close, you would risk having it splashed onto yourself.

Finally, I really don't get what people have against the fine china. The whole reason I wrote this question to start with is that I sliced my hand totally open with NO effort, on a mere CHIP in the side of my Mikasa French White dinner plate. If you tapped the plate against any surface near you, you would end up with a minimum of two, max maybe four or five, long triangular knives. If you wrapped any towel, sleeve of your shirt etc around where you hold it, you would have a two sided blade that you could jab around and slash wildly in front of you. Unlike the broom handle, the opponent couldnt grab it as any surface you weren't hanging onto would be a lethal sharp ceramic knife (yes, like someone mentioned should be banned on airplanes). If you lost one, you'd have two more if it were a dinner plate.... one in each hand maybe?? Get your back in a corner, slash and scream. I tell ya. You could do big damage and sever veins and tendons. (and for those of you who says the plate could only be used once... DONT THROW IT!! then it would be knives in the attackers hands!!)

29. If you were attacked, what part of the attacker's body would you go for first?
Whatever I could get my hands on. Eyes. balls, a fist in the breasts if it was a woman, break a finger. I dont have any faith in my ability to plan a reasoned attack, so wherever someone looked vulnerable. (and what is it with girls in movies who beat against a guy's chest?? duh!!)

30. If you were attacked, would you show the weapon you had, or strike with it without warning?
Well, here I believe that every single person gets a failing grade. Bad Wrong No. If you have a weapon, you should show it. Most attackers will back off and leave you alone if you have a weapon, or at least stop attacking you for a moment. Threaten threaten threaten. Apparently the number of times that even a gun has made an attacker back off or run away WAY outnumbers the times that a gun has stopped an attacker by shooting them. Why in heaven's name would you like to engage in hand to hand combat with someone angry, dangerous, or crazy enough to come after you? And if you have something like a knife or gun, wouldnt you rather not have his blood running all over you?? urk? Wouldnt you prefer that he backs up and stops touching you? Do you want a HURT angry crazy person on you? Hurt enrages more often than stops someone. If they are on you, go ahead and do what you can to physically stop them to get them off long enough to escape. But if you have a weapon threaten.

The other reason that is wrong to strike without warning, is that in many cases it is illegal. Imagine that you jump on someone cuz you are angry. You want to punch someone in the jaw. It is not ok for that person to then shoot you dead. That is basically giving someone a death penalty for something that is a minor crime... assault.

Ok, I will tell a story of a friend, actually one of my exes. Now he lived up north in a small town of geeks. One weekend night he and a friend of his were followed by two drunken macho guys. My friend is slight, and tattooed and wears a kilt. The drunks started calling him a fucking faggot in a skirt, and followed them threateningly. My friends first thought to go to an allnight cafe they knew about, but it happened to be closed that night.

They got caught in front of the locked door. The guys start beating on my friend, who had, expecting the attack, taken out his very small swiss army knife and hidden it along his middle finger in his hand. He sliced his attacker across the face with no warning.

Good for him, we say. Yes, but the guy was drunk, and also it takes a few seconds even to feel a slash wound, so he kept on coming at my friend. My friend slashed him across the belly. The guy kept coming.

It was only when my friend pointed out that the guy was cut and bleeding from the belly, that they guy stopped, looked down, saw blood and said "gee, wow, let's go", and stopped attacking and went to the hospital instead. So you see, even slashing the guy did not stop the attack. I suspect if he'd shown the knife right off instead of slashing with it, the danger wouldve sunk into the asshole's head, and he mightve left to start with... after all his only interest was to "teach a fag a lesson", not to get hurt.

This is not the end of the story. The hospital must've called the police, cuz charges were pressed... against my friend for wounding the drunk ass. Yup. He had to appear in court, and was convicted of "self-defence with undue force". Yup. You are NOT allowed to use a weapon unless the other person has a weapon. So, now my friend has a criminal conviction, couldnt have any knife on his body for two years, was on parole for two years, having to report into a parole officer, had to report where he was living, couldnt leave the province etc etc etc. Because he slashed someone. My mother calls him "the little criminal".

The judge said that they were both damn lucky. The idiot attackers said well, "he was wearing a skirt" by reason of defence. The judge told them for that they could've ended up dead. Yup. If my friend hadn't pointed out that the guy had a gut wound, he probably would've fallen into a drunken stupor and died of a stomach wound. And then the guy would be dead, and my friend wouldve been convicted of manslaughter. Yup.

So, the moral is, if someone is coming after you... and you have a weapon... threaten them, and they might back off. If someone has a weapon, you can use a similar weapon. Don't know what different laws are in different places, but shit. I'd just rather the guy run off and I can escape, call the police or whatever. and think... many people who might attack you, it could be a neighbor in anger, a friend, a relative, someone drunk... and unless it is a life and death situation, it will be your ass in jail, and you who have seriously damaged someone, even if you were defending yourself.

End of interesting questions on weapons. I think in general they escalate conflict, and can be used against the person who is defending themself, unless they are trained, quickthinking and lucky. I will stick with using knives for cheese and playscaring people. And consider everything around me a possible help in the case of attack, from my elbows to a lamp. The end.

If you want to do the survey yourself now, click here...

ps, someone answered "the pear" for the question of what weapon proves the existence of evil in humans, so I looked it up for you. Read and cringe.

Finally, I am sending you to look at the link of the NRA's blacklist, which includes such vilains as the American Pediatric Association, American Federation of Teachers, American Civil Liberties Union, American Medical Association and on and on... fascinating reading. And if you feel left out because you are not included, you can sign up to be on the NRA's blacklist at the non-NRA-affiliated organization,

Here is my horoscope for Tuesday, November 25:

When lovable rogues run free, the good people of the world have nothing to fear. Romance thrives when the air is scented with danger. Enjoy this accelerated lifestyle while you can get away with it.

Damn, I can smell burning pumpkin again... shit... shit shit.... must go now. Have a nice day, and make sure your weapons are not loaded before you do the nasty with them eh!

me, the wench.

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previous meanderings - future past

Goodbye Michael. May your next life be kinder to you. - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Taking Care of Your Cows - Thursday, Jun. 25, 2009
Saint Joseph robs the cradle and eats spaghetti - Sunday, Jun. 14, 2009
sticky notes and broken irises - Friday, Jun. 12, 2009
The FOODCOMMANDER - Monday, Jun. 08, 2009


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